America may be known as the land of the free, but it has more laws than you'd expect governing what you can and can't do in the sack—not that you'd attempt most of those things anyway. Although these regulations are so outdated they’re hardly enforced, they still remain on the books. For instance, many states (including Montana, Kansas, Utah, Louisiana, North Carolina and Texas) still have anti-sodomy rules, but bet you can't guess what device is banned from going off at the same time as a woman climaxes in Connorsville, WI! Read on for the answer, plus 11 more of the wackiest sex laws ever made.

1. No Unprotected Sex with Satan

If you happen to be in Bakersfield, CA, in the South Central section of the state, and the man you're about to seal the deal with is so devilishly handsome he just may be Lucifer, himself, make sure you have protection. Bakersfield law requires that you use a condom if you do the deed with Satan.

2. No Fornicating in Walk-in Meat Freezers

Apparently, food shopping—or working in a market—really sets the mood in Newcastle, WY, a small town by the South Dakota border. A law there bans couples from having sex inside any grocery store's walk-in meat freezer. Brr!

3. No Sexual Favors to Settle Billiard Debts

If you're playing pool for money at a bar or restaurant in Anniston, AL, an hour south of Birmingham, you better be ready to pay up—in cash—if you lose. It's against the law for any woman to offer sex to the victor instead of forking over moola. 

4. No Consummating Your Marriage During Outdoor Sports

While most brides wouldn’t think to celebrate their nuptials with shooting game or catching fish, if you do it in Oblong, IL, near the Indiana border, you better keep your pants on. It's punishable by law for any couple to have sex while hunting or fishing on their wedding day. (On any other day of your life, though, it's completely legal).

5. No Guns Going Off While You’re Getting Off

In Connorsville, WI, about an hour-and-a-half outside of Minneapolis, it’s illegal for a man to shoot a gun at the same time that his female partner is having an orgasm. Ladies first, gentlemen.

6. No Bestiality with Bigger Creatures Only

It's completely legal to have sex with any animal that weighs less than 40 pounds in Washington State. Animals weighing 40 pounds and over, though, are off-limits, according to state law.

7. No Ambulance Nookie for Women

If you have the misfortune of being in an ambulance in Tremonton, UT, an hour north of Salt Lake City, refrain from having sex with a fellow rider. Intercourse while en route to the hospital can result in a misdemeanor charge for a woman. Her male partner, on the other hand, would face no criminal charges.

8. No Surprising Randy Couples in Cars

It seems Coeur d’Alene, ID’s government wants to spare people the embarrassment of getting caught in the act: A law in this town near the Washington border prohibits police officers from immediately approaching any parked car if they suspect passengers are getting busy inside. Instead, they must drive up behind the vehicle, honk three times and wait approximately two minutes before getting out to investigate.

9., 10. and 11. No Well-Lit Sex, Non-Missionary Intercourse or Tickling

There must have been some shy lawmakers in power at the time when this law was signed: Virginia prohibits any couple from having sex with the lights on. This state also outlaws sex in any position other than missionary, as well as tickling women.

12. No Equine Voyeurs

While Massachusetts acknowledges that rodeo clowns deserve love, too, a state law forbids anyone from recklessly getting it on with one of those performers while the horses are still present. Once the animals have hit the hay, though, sex with a rodeo clown is A-OK. Yee haw!